<> Some Thoughts on Life & Living <>

Last modified: Sunday, 14 August, 2016
 

+ Next + Index +

 

+

WORKPLACE HUMOUR:
LINES YOU WISH YOU COULD USE AT WORK

 +

(with thanks to Peter Darton)

Having one of those days at work? Check out the phrases below and see which one is the most appropriate for you...

  1. Ah hah! I see the foul-up fairy has visited us again.

  2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

  3. How about never?  Is never good for you?

  4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

  5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

  6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

  7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

  8. I don't work here.  I'm a consultant.

  9. It sounds like English but I can't understand a word you're saying.

  10. I can see your point but I still think you're full of it.

  11. I like you.  You remind me of when I was young and stupid myself.

  12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

  13. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

  14. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

  15. Thank you.  We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

  16. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

  17. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

  18. What am I?  Flypaper for freaks!?

  19. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

  20. It's a thankless job but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

  21. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

  22. No, my powers can only be used for good.

  23. You sound reasonable... Time to up the medication.

  24. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.

  25. Who me? I just wander from room to room.

  26. My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!

  27. It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.

  28. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.

  29. Someday, we'll look back on all this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

+ Next + Index +

[Nightwol's Perch Home Page]
[Email Me!]